Well, it's five months later
than 'the night before' (aniteb4.html)…
That's the update on
me…Here's a couple of thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head/heart
(since there is obviously a lot of empty space in there!) over the past few
weeks…
One.
As I have worked through Psalm 119 recently again in my morning
"Devotions", I was more aware this time of the many prayers of the
Psalmist to YHWH to "teach me your Word/Law/Statutes". There is a
constant stream of such prayers: 'teach me', 'give me understanding', 'open my
eyes', etc.
"Teach me" is a
prayer made repeatedly by most of the 'chronic' Christians I know, but I found
myself wondering how exactly the Psalmist expected the Lord to answer that
prayer--and what specifically he felt he needed
to learn. As I reflected on the first point, I asked myself what my experience of 'teach me' was like.
My immediate focus when I
pray this, I think, is that I am asking for the 'eureka' experience of insight.
I want to be able to study/read a passage in the text and (a) understand the
content of the passage, but also (b) understand how the principle works, where
to use it/not use it, what it teaches me about the heart of God, how it fits
with the rest of the Word, etc. I seem
to be interested in the implicative
dimensions of the text (the 'so then, what…') and the coherence dimensions (the 'oh, this fits with that verse…'), in addition to the purely semantic content.
The psychological aspect of this might be reflected in the Psalmist's prayer:
"open my eyes that I might behold
wondrous things from Thy law" (119. 17). The Law was 'wondrous'
itself--what more was the Psalmist looking for?
At the reading level, it might be something like
the first 'real' time I read the bible: I 'saw' (or imagined…smile) the
connection between the three reinstatement questions of the Risen Jesus to
Peter and the three denials of Peter. I 'saw' that when Jesus asked Peter 'do
you love me?' (even with the different verb for love there) the third time, that this third repetition of
the question 'must have' triggered in Peter's mind the grievous memory of the third denial of Jesus by Peter at the
Arrest (and when Jesus turned at looked at Peter, Luke 22.61). My psychological experience of this was of
an 'eureka' type--I 'saw' a strand in the fabric of history.
It is clear from the psalm
that the author had a written text of the Law before him (or her), for the
visual metaphors (seeing, eyes, etc) are more numerous than oral ones (hearing,
ears, etc). 119 does not have a superscription,
so it is anonymous. It is commonly ascribed to the post-exilic period, with
allusions to (or semi-quotes from)
Deut, Proverbs, Isaiah, and Jeremiah, and is sometimes seen as being
dependent on Psalm 19B (a Davidic psalm).
Getting back to the 'teach me'
experience, in my own experience of this the 'teaching' generally involves so
much more than simple 'disclosure' or 'unlocking some previously downloaded
content' (smile). When I puzzle over a verse, and ask our Lord-- "what in
the WORLD does THAT mean, Lord????"--the answer often only comes through
subsequent study. There is generally (but not 'uniformly') a gap between the
question and the answer, and many times the study does NOT produce the answer
at first (or even ever). It is, after all, still God's action I am
requesting…and discovery is not something automatic (as ANY researcher,
student, and teacher can attest) nor something controlled totally by 'exposure
to raw data'…
But a concept version of 'teach me' can very,
very often also have a providence
requirement. Some verses and entire themes of scripture have only become
'understood' by me upon providential experiences and observations. I have had
to see some principle played out in front of my eyes before I enter the
"So, THAT's what that was all about, eh Lord?" phase. Sometimes I
have to learn a related fact for
the 'un-learned' one to 'fall into place'. (Educational Psychologists and
Learning Theorists study these factors professionally.)
And then there is the
'REALLY teach me this, Lord' type of learning…where I already KNOW some fact or
some truth or some value, but I am having trouble applying it, or having
trouble integrating it into my 'behavioral' worldview. Maybe, where the lesson
is something I need to learn over and over
and over again, unfortunately, for it to 'stick'…Lord knows I have
plenty of these in my life (sigh)… People sometimes speak of the difference
between 'head knowledge' and 'heart knowledge', but this would be a contrast
between head-knowledge and hands-knowledge…I KNOW to do something,
but don’t do/practice it…sounds like
the book of James, eh?
But, again, this kind of
learning is also a subtle exercise in providence--God arranging and interacting
with the stream of events of my life, in order to create a perceptual 'dialogue'
between some pattern 'out there' in my experience and some 'unformed/unfinished
pattern' of cognitive understanding in my head (this 'dialogical learning' is
basically the thrust of much of Bernard Lonergan's work, btw). And repeated
applications--with increasing 'volume', unfortunately--create the necessary
'weights' attached to the fact/theme.
But the bottom line is that
our 'teach me' prayers are often answered in "directed research in the lab
of life"--God's pedagogy is sure, but oh so subtle…
And what was the psalmist actually asking for? He/she had the Law in front of them--what did they want to 'see' in it, other than what was at the surface?
In a post-exilic community,
with extra study in the "School of Hard Knocks", it might have meant
my 'REALLY teach me' type of learning (so Israel would not have to experience
ANOTHER dislocation for disobedience and covenant treachery), but the 'wondrous
things from your Law' phrase leads me to doubt that. The 'wondrous things'
aspect might correspond more closely to the 'behind the text' realities of the
heart of God. One can easily read the command to forego 'exhaustive harvesting'
of a field (in order to leave some 'gleanings' for the poor and destitute, Lev
19.9; 23.22; Deut 24.20ff) as a simple 'un-wondrous' command, and go about
obeying it. Or one can ponder for a moment what
that commandment implied about the heart of God, and how that
glimpse of the heart of God might differ from
the hearts of humans-in-high-power…One
can easily and quickly be reduced to tears of worship and the trembling of an
overwhelmed heart when one ponders what God must be like to issue such laws
(constraints upon the elite, wealthy, well-off, and non-destitute) simply for the
benefit of the needy, the bereaved, the unlovely, the unfortunate, the
oppressed. The longer one reflects on the Law in this manner, the more forceful
this feeling becomes…'wondrous things'--the heart of God, the depth of His
integrity, the breadth of His compassion and love, the height of His loyalty to
those in free relationship with Him.
Two.
And there is a
similar set of prayers for God to 'override the will': "let not sin rule
over me", "don’t let me stray from your commandments",
"turn my heart to your statutes", "direct my footsteps according
to your word", etc.
I have been pondering the
'nature of the will' for decades now, and over the past few years have seen how
really complicated the matter is. The 'will' shows up in the theological areas
(especially the freedom/bondage of the will, in Calvinist-and-non
controversies) as well in biblical ethics (e.g., the 'hardening of Pharaoh's
heart', the 'giving them over to sins' of Romans 1). But too often in these
discussions the will is viewed 'monolithically', as if the will were 'one
thing', when in reality the will is more like a wind-storm, in which various
'currents' swirl and collide, blend and quiesce. When Pharoah can harden his
own heart (using a choice to
render certain future choices unlikely),
when Paul can describe this fierce, military-metaphor-ed 'war' of the inner
'wills' (Gal 5), and when the Psalmist can choose
to pray for God's 'structuring involvement' in future
choices, you know we have to rethink the metaphysics of will.
But this too is part of our
daily Christian experience. I pray daily--during morning prayers--something
like this: "Please don’t let me embarrass the reputation of Your good
heart today, Lord"…I ask for God to provide restraint-support for my choices.
I don’t pray anymore (I used to, but God never seemed to honor that) for
'de-conscious control takeover' (as in the case of spirit-possession), but I
ask instead for some ennobling of the good intentions within me, and the
atrophy/weakening of the bad.
[BTW (loose association),
this is one of the ways I pray for world leaders. My morning prayers have a
section I call 'Sovereignty', and the prayers for world leaders/nations part of
that starts
something like this:
"Lord, I lift up our
world leaders to you today and ask for your mercy upon them. Their job is
incredibly difficult, with all the myriad of competing agendas being thrust
upon them by their own human hearts--both good and bad, by their histories, by
their situation, and by their constituencies. I pray that you protect them from
the Malignancies--both from without, from within, and from alongside. I ask that you exalt and debase, bless every
good intention today and atrophy every destructive one, pool the good voices
and disperse the bad voices, and raise up voices and influences for true peace,
community health, and sanity. Take up, Lord, the mantle of Romans 13 today and
see through the leaders to the
little people under them. Breathe peace and provision through the leaders, for the little folk
in their land, for their own families and posterity, and for their own hearts.
For the terrorists of the world, I ask mercy--I ask that you call some out for
a testimony to Your love and forgiveness, that you divert the zeal and efforts
of others into more constructive areas to actually help their people, that You
"de-cleric-a-lize" them, and that you distract, dissipate, and divide
the rest into ineffectiveness. I pray that we would also recognize the ugliness
of the subtle forms of 'relationship
treachery' in our own lives and
our own behavior. I pray that you bless every movement toward
constructive reform today…"]
At some level, it’s like I
ask for freedom-for-good. I pray that my
development will be 'constrained' toward increasing freedom(!),
instead of being unconstrained and 'drifting' toward decreasing 'density' of
life, value, love, authenticity, and focus. I will become either more 'real'
and powerful, or become more 'shadowy' and inconsequential, almost like the
image in The Great Divorce by
Lewis, where the blades of grass in heaven are so incredibly dense/heavy,
compared with the gossamer nature of the entirety
of Hell.
Now, strictly speaking, this
might not be talking about metaphysical 'will' at all--the 'heart' (in 'turn my
heart to your statutes') is probably something much broader than 'isolated
will'. It would include the mind, the predilections, habits, affective
responses to moral dilemmas, etc. But our daily prayers for 'increased
sanctification' certainly entails a request to God for more pure hearts, more
obvious choices, and more spontaneous
goodness.
Three
.
Interestingly, this segues into the area of Talion of Intent.
In the Hebrew Bible, lex talionis was the old 'eye for an eye'
legislation. We have noted before on the Tank (several times) that this
actually was a beneficent law, restricting punishment from being abusive or
'cruel and unusual'. It 'capped' the punishment to something more 'reasonable',
and was intended to protect even the guilty. At the same time, it was supposed
to create a 'punishment to fit the crime' stream of consequences (and example)
for the community. Lesser crimes were not to be taken more seriously than they
should, but serious crimes were not to be taken less seriously.
But one fascinating aspect
of the law was its application to 'intended crimes'. Consider Deut 19.15ff:
"A single witness shall not suffice to convict a
person of any crime or wrongdoing in connection with any offense that may be
committed. Only on the evidence of two or three witnesses shall a charge be
sustained. 16 If a malicious witness comes forward to accuse someone of
wrongdoing, 17 then both parties to the dispute shall appear before the Lord,
before the priests and the judges who are in office in those days, 18 and the
judges shall make a thorough inquiry. If the witness is a false witness, having
testified falsely against another, 19 then
you shall do to the false witness just as the false witness had meant to do to
the other. So you shall purge the evil from your midst. 20 The rest
shall hear and be afraid, and a crime such as this shall never again be
committed among you. 21 Show no pity: life for life, eye for eye, tooth for
tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot." [NRSV]
This theme is also reflected
in the countless references to
'let the evil fall into the pit which they dug for the innocent' prayers--the intention (having someone fall into the pit
to their hurt) was the punishment
(providentially executed, if the psalmist got his way) upon those who with purpose and planning tried to hurt others.
This is somewhat different
than the 'natural consequences' principle, in which 'what you sow, you
eventually reap' is the operative principle. 'Natural consequence' is a case of
talion, and specific/particular
'application' or 'delay' or 'suppression' of those consequences can sometimes
be a function of God's sovereign judgment/mercy/governance within time.
But these negative
statements of this seems to suggest the symmetric
opposite: that the intention to do good to others might be observed by our Lord and might form the basis of
'additional blessing' upon ourselves.
The natural consequence
version of this has long been known to work: the more positive thoughts I
think, the more positive a character I become. But here I am speaking of the
'outside judge' involvement of God, involving external
effects. In the Deut passage, we had three parties: the perp, the
would-have-been victim, and the judge (elders acting under the authority of
God). In out beneficent case we have the same trio: the would-be-do-gooder, the
would-have-been-beneficiary, and the judge (God).
Proverbs 11.27 has this
expression: He who seeks good finds goodwill, and WBC comments:
"This proverb seems to say that you get what you look for, whether for
good or for evil.".
What this seems to net out
at is this: if my character develops (through 'spiritual exercises'…smile) to
be one that is constantly in
search of opportunities to help, to serve, to bless, to comfort, to encourage,
to affirm, to honor, to uphold, to champion the needy, to speak up for the
disadvantaged--then God will 'judge' (occasionally, and at in keeping with His
patterns of working in my life at the time) this stream of intentions and will visit comfort,
encouragement, affirmation, etc upon me. If I am constantly hoping to encourage
others to trust the good-hearted Lord, then there will likely be some who do
the same to me…[I personally have experienced this untold times on the Tank, when a 'stray' email pops up with
a single sentence or single paragraph of encouragement…and my world of that
no-doubt-cloudy day is brightened thereby…]
Needless to say, one cannot
'intend to do selfless acts' for
the purpose of 'selfish gain'
(!)--this is oxymoronic in the extreme…the old "I will bless you, so that
I personally will be blessed" is serious self-deluded hypocrisy…So this
principle is not something to 'claim' and 'exploit' (!), but rather another one
of those facts of creation for which to be amazed at the wonder of our God.
Another reason to trust His generous heart, to see the Parent who is always
looking for the slightest 'excuse' to bless His children, to stand in
non-terrified awe of a God who seeks to encourage our community peace, our
community growth, our community joy and celebration.
Four. But there is ONE way in which I 'use' this
principle (or maybe a related one) in my experience.
Indeed, there is a
delightfully paradoxical dance in this area: The more righteous (in the warm
and godlike sense) one is, the more one's prayers are answered; AND the more
one is righteous, the less one's prayers are for personal things and the MORE
they are for increasing righteousness! Whenever I come across Psalm 37.4:
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
the more I realize my chief/only desires now (at least,
'increasingly') are to delight myself in the
Lord in every step I take in life and thought…The desires of my heart are to know His
beautiful heart more, to walk more as He walked, to love-to-death like He did,
to celebrate and champion loyalty, compassion, forgiveness, and love; and to
honor His 'desires of the Heart'
to reach out in love to the needy-of-heart, to the captives, to the sorrowful,
to the lost, to those discouraged, "cynic-ized", and exploited by
false religion and counterfeit ideologies.
Granted, I pray for other things--largely dictated by the need du jour
which is part of the current pedagogical and/or sanctification task--but even
these are fundamentally exercises in living as Jesus did. Jesus delighted in
the work of the Father which He saw unfolding before His very eyes, in meeting the present needs of those who
sought His touch.
Five.
Completely unrelated
to the above (rapid context switch here) is something I realized about praise.
Giving praise (to God) is said to
be distinct from giving thanks.
Thanks is for what God does; Praise is for what God is like. [Of course, I give
thanks to God for revealing to me
over these decades what He is like,
so the two notions do overlap.]
God doesn’t 'need' praise from us--we have often discussed in the Tank the
'motivation' behind His delight in our praises and thanks, and how some folks
interpret this negatively.
The more I reflect on the
character/heart of God, and on His quiet, gentle, and gracious ways, the more I
find myself in spontaneous praise. It starts with a clear moment of insight or
realization of how some aspect of His beauty is manifest in some event, or some
text of scripture, and then some wider implication of this insight 'dawns upon
me'--and I am in awe, all of a sudden, of this truly "un-earthly"
Beauty, of this perfect Grace, of this absolute Integrity, of this intention
toward me that has not the slightest shadow of fickleness nor malice anywhere
within a hyperzillion miles of it…I am at that point, "blown away"
(in the vulgar tongue…smile), and my heart soars in transport of praise. I
cannot help but articulate this to my Lord--and I am found in the act of 'praising
God'. This is not some conscious 'spiritual exercise' of worship, but a
spontaneous act, incited by the 'mere' knowledge of the revealed character of
God.
In earlier days, though, I
sorta wondered (along with some skeptics, obviously) whether the system wasn't simply
'built' to generate such praise to God. Along with those accustomed to being
manipulated by authorities, I had a shadow of doubt as to whether God made me
'tiny', so that I would be 'dwarfed' by His 'bigness', and that praise would be
more 'quantitatively' motivated, than qualitatively motivated. In other words,
did God make a race of puppets (a la
Blade Runner's Sebastian) so that our praise was an unconscious, 'biological'
reflex function (like a cough or sneeze), rather than something requiring our
holistic nature.
But a couple of weeks ago,
some of this became a little clearer than it had been before (good grief, it
only took 30 years!)…Praise was not a
function of relative size, but a function of clarity of vision and coherence of
values. I don't praise God more now (than ever before) because I am even more aware
of how much "bigger" He is than me--I praise Him more because I see more clearly how transcendentally beautiful His character
is. It’s a function of clarity of insight.
The purer of heart I become, the better my understanding of His heart, and the
more I am overjoyed by such beauty.
It's not altogether qualitatively different from the feeling
in one's heart when one weeps at a (good) ballet, or is overwhelmed by a music
overture, or is 'blown away' by seeing an act of incredible compassion and
goodness. Praise is a response to beauty, to purity, to 'images of divinity' in
our midst. I have been amazed at glimpses of my friends' hearts at times,
resembling the 'praise' that God will visit upon
us in the future (Rom 2.29; 1 Cor 4.5; 1 Pet 1.7). It is, of course,
extensively different with God,
because His goodness/beauty is so intensive, pervasive, and intrinsic--it is
WHO GOD IS. But it's not a function of 'bigness'--if God were 'small like us',
but of the same Character, the response to that Heart would still be overwhelming…
In fact, in case you haven't
beaten me there (smile), this is indeed the response to Jesus that grows in the
believer's heart…As we get more and more glimpses of His heart through
scripture and through our experience of Him in our walk, we grow in our awe of
His character. And He 'looks human' in the Word. For all His deity, He
manifests the heart of God more
in human life and love and laughter…And we are amazed at such purity of
purpose, such unvarying loyalty to us, such unclouded vision of true values and
proper priorities in life. No wonder an older Peter can say: "Though you
have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you
believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy" (1
Pet 1.8). This is not a 'large-ness' issue--it’s a largess issue…the generosity of His heart (to the point of
His very life and reputation) is so complete and untainted…
And notice also that the Son
praised the Father, for His tender goodness to the non-elite (Luke 10.21). It
was not 'bigness', but beauty-toward-others that prompted Jesus' response. The
fact that God will praise humans (see refs above) at some event in the future,
shows that 'bigness' cannot be
the issue! It is the quality of some act, of some heart, of some character that
is seen, recognized, and appreciated in the act of praise. It is NOT
automatic--it has to be 'earned' by a life-above.
And, strangely enough, it
seems to be somewhat of a reflection on the praiseworthiness of the praise-or, too… Scripture sometimes
describes the response of the "anti-peace party" to God's heart as
one of rage, mistrust, and repudiation. They reject the knowledge of God. God's
love for the poor is something to be de-valued. God's forbearance in judgment
is something to be exploited for purposes of exploitation of others. God's
valuation of internal goodness and other-centered self-restraint is rejected as
being of no value. Their own anti-values seem to preclude them from valuing the
heart of God as it should be. They cannot see God's love for harmony and
community health as something worth supporting. They cannot praise God because
their own hearts do not resonate
to beauty, goodness, and integrity.
But this implies that the
more one's heart becomes like God's heart (through the work of grace in
one's life), the more one shares the same
values with God. And, consequently, the more one can/will praise God
for His character! (And, I might add, the more one will also praise others who manifest that same Character,
and those same values.). This is, of course, has nothing to do with
metaphysical 'bigness'. [BTW: In scripture,
actually, experiences of God's 'bigness' generally produced terror and fear-of-immediate-death, not
joyous praise. A knowledge of His 'bigness' can produce confidence in His ability to
implement His good-hearted will, but this has as much to do with His wisdom as with His 'bigness' per
se. One can be humbled radically by His bigness, but this humility
can also be 'achieved' by reflection about the difference in love, goodness,
and compassion between the Unique One and us.] This too is an indication that praise has to do
with one beautiful heart recognizing another Beautiful Heart.
By the time I came out of
this thinking, I was amazed at how 'wise' the design
of God was…Any goodness in my
heart recognizes and praises the goodness in God's
heart, and in this process, my heart becomes MORE LIKE HIS (principle: we
become like those we look up to---mentors and heroes). The more like His heart mine becomes, the more clearly I can see
His heart ("we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is"--I
John), and the more I will/can praise Him. The Spiral of Beauty continues and continues…
the system was originally designed so that goodness bred goodness, and grace
begot grace…and the New Creation--of the inward heart--works this way anew.
That's all for now…I've got
to go edit some analysis slides on the z990 now…hopefully I can get back to
some Tank writing in a couple of weeks.
Because of His heart,
Glenn Miller
May 18, 2003
The Christian ThinkTank...[https://www.Christianthinktank.com]
(Reference Abbreviations)